Teacher Jokes Don't Need To Be Funny

Okay, now we've all been taken to school, let's break down what just happened.

This is the greatest spontaneous comeback I have ever seen.  As someone who stands in front of an audience every day, an audience which has not always been receptive to what I have to say, I am taking notes.  Here are my thoughts on this moment.

There was a strong chance that at the moments immediately after the heckle he would have needed to leave the stage.  He could have had a few minutes of "thanks for having me", maybe one last punchline, but to all intents and purposes he is done.  Because the heckle is brilliant, and the (clearly sober) heckler's timing is perfect, he can't appeal to the "shut the hell up people are having a good time here" argument, because maybe they'd have a better time with her, whoever she is.  They'd probably tell her to take the mic once he left.  

So he needs to think.  I can tell you the mistake you would probably make in this situation.  You would think, being him, that you need to think fast.  If you are thinking this you aren't a chess player.

The tempo of the gig is actually still his.  Until he speaks, he is the ranking officer in the legions of Funny.  Sure, he's hanging by a thread.  However, he will get one chance to save his skin.  Now watch his right hand.  Four times he flicks it out, each time a signal to the crowd like the hourglass on a screen.  Each flick is meaningful:  working.  He even extends the fingers as if writing, which is exactly what he is doing.  

What makes this moment beautiful is it is completely public creation.  He is literally writing a punchline in front of the audience, and what is more, he is so good he knows he has time not to use the first one he thinks of.  I would guess that each of those four wrist flicks is a discarded possible punchline being written and then trashed.  

Notice that when he has it, he completes the movement and touches his glasses.  Here the signal to the audience is "glasses - nerd", which given what little of the act seen at the beginning of the clip signals his persona is back in control.  And the audience is so smart it intuitively knows this and silences itself to give him his one chance.  

This tells you two important facts about audiences:  they respect power, and they are obedient.   And one more thing:  you don't need to spell it out for them.

If you are a teacher, remember this when a student calls out something which makes you look stupid:  You have time, and when you have something funnier/sharper/more just/more fitting (this all depends on the Values of the room), the class will not only realise, but they will be grateful to receive it because really, do you think they'd RATHER that lady finish the gig?  With her one lucky break?  Hell no.  That's relief you're hearing at the end in their delighted screams. Thus at the moment when you feel the whole room is against you, you are actually in the position of greatest power.  Break the silence too soon though, and they'll be sorry they ever believed in you.  

That's why teacher jokes aren't funny - they don't need to be.  If they are it's just a bonus - what they need to be is witty in the ancient sense of building on what has gone before and that means giving your response some thought.  You need to accept the premises of your opponent and render them absurd through mind judo, and that's going to take a moment.  Relax, you're going to be given that moment; audiences know what's good for them.

Or you could just send the kid out, and look like a sore loser.  It's your call.

2.

So that's timing.  There is one more important element of Teacher humour: Justice.

L-R:  Dr Whiteface and Feste

The other thing which humour does is recognise the absurdity of status and any attempts to impose order.  This is why its targets are so often aristocrats, and why the truly brilliant clown is not the Feste type (Harpo Marx, Coco the Clown) but Dr Whiteface (Groucho Marx, Oliver Hardy).  This is the guy with the plan who despairs of "these idiots I have to work with" but is in fact just as stupid as his contemporaries.  This is, crucially, who the students think we are.  When we fail, it confirms it.  When they fail, they feel like a Feste, slipping on water or being spoinked in the face with a ladder.

Conclusion:  The universe is random, unfair and unjust.

A staffroom, yesterday

Chaplin's genius is to represent the injustices, follies, heartbreak and failure of the world whilst remaining nevertheless pure.  He wears his failure as a badge, but also constantly struggles free of it.  The second category of Teacher joke (and I would put Socrates in the category of clown at times, too) displays the scars of confusion whilst also reassuring us that no matter how inept one is, dumb luck can also save you too.

It's a type of Justice, and there are times when you can use it.

After all, how else to explain an idiot like me ending up in front of a fine bunch of swells like you?